Having a baby does not mean you have to be sleep deprived forever. In today’s world most people work one or sometimes two jobs. Being able to stay home full time with your baby and not work is not always an option. My mom and dad worked opposite shifts so me and my three siblings never had to go to daycare.
I am so happy with my third daughter I can lay her in her crib awake and she will go to sleep. My first two daughters my husband would stay up late watching tv and hold them for hours while they were sleeping before putting them in their crib. I will always tell him they will never learn how to go to sleep on their own. I would go to bed early and he would stay up watching tv. Eventually when they were bigger, they would scream or cry if we put them in their crib awake.
We were separated when our third was born so I knew being a single mom of 3 with a newborn I needed to get her to sleep without a lot of issue. This momma needs sleep to function.
The reality was I did not want the baby to get used to being in my room and be dependent on that for too long. Right before she turned four months, I transitioned her from the bassinet to her crib.
In the newborn stages the best advice is to keep the baby in your room. We did not do that with our first two children they slept in their crib right away. With my last child I was deathly afraid of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), I got a bassinet/swing as a baby shower gift. This was the best thing ever.
Knowing I was the only adult in the home to care for my newborn I was extra nervous and wanted to keep the baby right by me so I could check on her consistently throughout the night.
I have listed 6 steps to help momma and baby get sleep.
1. SLEEPTIME ROUTINES
You will hear advice from other people routine is import. Yes, I must agree in my household we are happier if we have a routine. Being a single parent having a routine is a necessity. You do not need a long drawn out schedule. Just be consistent so baby knows what to expect.
I choose a super simple routine with my baby. She gets her bath then I nurse her, sing to her while I rock her, give kisses and snuggles then tell her it is bedtime. I lay her in her crib, rub her belly in circles a few times (I started this early on it is like a way she knows it sleep time) then turn on her mobile music and leave her alone. At first, she would turn her head wiggle her butt into a comfortable position and go to sleep. Now that she is baby talking, she talks to herself or her sisters for a few minutes and goes right to sleep. My baby loves to talk, she talks more than my first two combined at this age of five months.
2. KEEP THE ROOM DARK
If the baby’s room has curtains or blinds close them, lamps and ceiling lights should be off.
The baby will be sleep trained early on when the room is darkened that it is time to sleep. Setting the environment for baby to sleep regardless if it is nap time or bedtime keeping the room dark will allow the baby to fall asleep easier.
3. MUSIC
Although some parents prefer complete silence. I have other children so complete silence is not realistic in my household at bedtime. Having a musical mobile or sound machine in the room is a great benefit that baby hears as a trigger to know it is sleep time. If you use a sound machine like the one, I have (affiliate link) keep the volume low. Soft sounds will relax your baby and keep them from staying awake making the sleep journey easier.
4. CRY IT OUT
Of course, no one want to hear their baby cry. It sounds like a mean thing to do to your precious baby. However, we are in sleep training mode. If you have set the stage baby is fed, clean diaper, in their pajamas, curtains are closed, music on and baby starts screaming do not run and pick them up right away. Go in check baby to make sure nothing is wrong the rub their belly in circles a few times and tell baby it is sleep time or say nothing at all then walk away. Wait a few minutes if baby is still crying watch them either from the doorway (so they cannot see you) or on the baby monitor. Sometimes babies just need a few minutes to settle in before they fall asleep.
You might think it is harsh to let the baby cry for a few minutes before you go in and check on them, but remind yourself this is new to baby and it just takes conditioning to get baby in sleep routine. If there is nothing wrong with baby, then momma you have nothing to feel guilty about letting baby cry for a few minutes. Repeat every 5 minutes as needed until baby falls asleep. Yes, you may have to do this with baby for a good week or two until baby learns to sleep. I would only suggest using the cry it out method with babies over six months. Younger than that the baby is too little.
A FEW TIPS:
- Make sure diaper is dry and clothes are comfy.
- Ensure temperature in the room is not too hot or cold.
- Place that baby down in his/her crib. Tell baby goodnight and mommy loves you.
- A quick belly rubs.
- No lights
- Do not pick baby up.
- [When] they cry, wait 5 minutes before going back in.
- After 5 minutes of crying, go in. Place the baby on their back, if needed.
- Do not pick the baby up.
- Turn the mobile or sound machine on.
- Let the baby cry for an extra 5 minutes (if they have it in them)
- Stay consistent and repeat until the baby is sound to sleep.
I understand your saying, Theresa I do not like to hear my baby cry. Know that the baby crying during this process is temporary. If your checking baby or watching him/her on the monitor and know their safe it will be ok.
I am not going to lie; it will be heartbreaking at first to hear baby cry just remember it is a new transition for baby. So, it will not feel awesome to just let a baby cry. Ensuring baby is safe will make it easier to allow baby to fall asleep.
It will be hard; you might have to do the five-minute checks for an hour. Eventually baby will tire out and fall asleep.
Repeat the same process every night then eventually, you will lay that baby down and they will go right to sleep. Cry it out is extremely popular method and works amazingly if done correctly.
5. THE 5-MINUTE RULE
Any crying past 5 minutes should be addressed. (With as little light as possible.) Baby might be wet and need a quick diaper change. This is a good time to use a nightlight. Along with that, avoid taking them out of their room. After the diaper change then lay baby back down do not say anything rub his/her belly in circles and leave the room.
6. FEED THE BABY
One of the tricks to sleep training is keeping them in sleep mode as much as possible during sleep time. If a baby wakes up in the middle of the night, and baby is not wet then baby probably needs a bottle or boob. Feed the baby, rub their baby till they burp them lay the down in their crib. No words necessary.
Final Thoughts…
There you have it! Follow these six steps to get baby to sleep. Repetition is key. Do not do it correct one night then skip it the next. Each night you are successful look at it has building the blocks of a future of well rested night for both you and baby. Each time you skip the routine you will have to start all over again. Give it a try, and not only will you have a happy baby you will be a well-rested mama.
Let me know what methods you use to help your baby sleep.